Simon Chong is the best human being there is. He turned the previous blog post script, which we performed here – (jump to 34 minutes in)

into this

I rest my case. Simon Chong. Best human being.

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I'm so nice you just wanna eat me. I'm like a sexy wee marble you just wanna pop under your tongue. I'm like a tiny wren's egg you slide between your tits. I'm Pat Phoenix get the fuck out of my shop

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