Professionalism Is One Of My Middle Names

I just found the best email I have ever written in a professional capacity. Do you want to read a bit of it? I fucking know you do.

I broke it down like this, because there's only so many times I can watch things eating shit while talking to myself in a shouty German accent...
04 : Dog with bucket
07: Rabbit with ball
09: Monkey eating own shit
13: Boy kissing bird
16: Deer attacking child
20: Monkeys climbing woman
24: Rabbit fucking ball
26: Boy and llama
30: Pony fucking horse
33: Sheep attacking child
36: Cat attacking self
37: Dog weaning a goat
43: Goat pulling child
46: Dog eating cornflakes
48: Dog attacking soft toy
50: Monkey fucking a cat
54: Dog dancing with woman
57: Dog dragging arse along floor

I would have liked a better climax, but that would have been tampering with the truth. My other middle names are “Willy” and “Tickler”.

5 thoughts on “Professionalism Is One Of My Middle Names”

  1. p.s. you spelt Professionalism right.
    Of course, if you’d spelt it wrong, you’d have been even more despised.
    It’s not a word you can really use in print anymore.

  2. I don’t get it. Should I feel a stupid now? Is everyone else cleverer than me, or just too weirded-out to admit they don’t get it?
    My guess is that the numbers are the amount of points you get for seeing the thing listed. If that’s the case I score a total of 52.

  3. It was a desperate post, I’m willing to admit that now I’ve done another. It was related to some freelance work I’ve got, writing scripts for You’ve Been Framed-esque clips. Imagine if YBF had shit and humping in, and you’ve got… Kirsty’s Home Videos. But this has even MORE shit, piss, humping and agony in it, and is being made in Argentina. Sounds like you WANT some of that shit, yeah?


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