Hi, Jennifans! Here’s something I did that… well, it makes me want to puke to be honest, but I think it captures Jennifer’s playful, sexy and psychotic nature pretty OK-ish. It’s also convinced me to put that third cake back in the bin. That third delicious cake, whose only sin was to be born so … Read more
Remember that cunt, Francis Gilbert? It’s from the time when I regularly posted, and people commented. From when I was a contender. FRANCIS GILBERT POSTS Francis Gilbert vs Law of the Playground Francis Gilbert’s Real-Life Actual Blog At the time, it prompted me to start a spoof Gilbert website, which quickly became “a lot of … Read more
Have you heard about the new game that is being made? I don’t suppose you have, because the magazine article I wrote in PC Zone isn’t out yet, and it’s not like there’s any more immediate ways of getting information these days. The new game is so exciting – if you’re Korean – that it’s … Read more
SCENE ONE: THE SpaceCAT OFFICES LINDA: This week’s orphans are being delivered! I’ve been looking through the pictures, too. Some of them look agonisingly hard-done-to. [Linda licks her lips] STEVE: This one’s my favourite. He looks like he’s he’s been punched for something that he’s quietly and convincingly explained that he didn’t do. [Steve drops … Read more
Well, here’s a turn-up for the hows-your-father. Despite The Law of the Playground not being available in any bookshops, and despite the website being dead to new entries for a good while*, people have still been buying the Law of the Playground book. Over 4,000 copies in Britain, which has rendered three independant observers clinically … Read more
The Crow The Crow 2: The City of Angels The Crow 3: Salvation The Crow 4: The Wicked Prayer The Crow 5: The Crucible of Vengeance The Crow 6: The Deadly Rooftop Solo The Crow 7: The Deadly Dance of the Crow The Crow 8: The Eldritch Bedfellows Of The Crow The Crow 9: The … Read more
EMAIL ME IF YOU’VE SHIT YOURSELF PLEASE, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU I went home last weekend, to catch up with the folks. My dad is the reason I still laugh at farts, shit, piss and “all that”. Well, my mum has her part in it, too – if she hadn’t tutted and rolled … Read more
Hello. Nothing’s happened to me in the last two months. Sorry about that. I’m writing in the daytime, writing in the evenings, and when it comes to keeping the blog, I just weep dry syllables. I’ve been that pumped for prose that I no longer even think in words, and I have to hold up … Read more
Ladybirds are the kindest of all the insects. They are not the mandible-clacking monsters that museum curators keep as pets. They’re gentle, they never forget birthdays, and if you look stressed, a ladybird will play a set of ladybird-sized pan pipes until your cares evaporate, like milk. Why are ladybirds adorable? I shouldn’t have to … Read more