Words – people say they’re “old-fashioned” and “what’s with the words, grandpa” – but I would reply “you just used words then didn’t you” and they’d go “oo what a valuable lesson”.
Oh, no! I emailed my good friend Ruth Madoc (pissdrenched@gmail.com) with five images that I got from Google Image search. She loves receiving thematically linked images, and I love her being happy. However, she’s gone on holiday, and I’ve hit my head with a saucepan. This has resulted in me losing the images, and forgetting … Read more
Every image from the random image script on the front of the Adecco website. I don’t know about you, but I’m gonna fucking get out there and do me some a1 photocopying. And by a1 I mean “top grade” rather than the paper size, because ours can only do a3 although it is a fax, … Read more
I just received the finest joke via email. It had the subject title “FW: Hilarious!!! Onestone!!!” Now, I’ve just this very second invented the Whatever Next? Model of Absurd Extrapolation, so I was amazed to suddenly find myself at the very forefront of a new model of joke distribution. Even if I’m not the first … Read more
When things go wrong, it can be utterly hilarious! Not like in these clips! LolO!
THE STORY SO FAR : He Grunted : I Laughed A very quick entry out of pure, rabid emergency. Forgive the first-draft-feel (my writing is usually so fucking polished), but I’ve just been listening to a man have a wank. It really was the most basic mistake of the toilet wanker; assuming that every slam … Read more
Hi. I’m Log! I’ve been writing in this blog for about six months now, and I don’t feel like we know each other. Let me tell you about my day! The first thing I do, every morning, is fling my legs gaily from the bedclothes, tap my foot on the floor – rat-a-tat-tat – and … Read more
Through some mix-up, I find myself briefly employed writing scripts for the adorable scamps. Children, as any advert for teaching will tell you, are honest, unprejudiced, and open-minded. When they’re not sitting on buckets and contemplating a day of well-meaning misadventure, they’re getting murdered in quarries by trusted grown-ups. I went to school as a … Read more
Getting the last tube home is great. First, you have the sense of satisfaction of thinking “I stayed out the latest, I win at London”. Sure, you can stay out later, but night buses are like guessing too high on The Price Is Right. You were too excitable, you went too far, and you just … Read more
Stuck for somewhere to drink beer with your grandfather? Try these discrete venues – all bar-staff are trained not to stare in disbelief as you rest your balls in the ashtray. Golden Tudor Woof * * ** ** * An old-fashioned pub, which reflects the personality of its owner, a golden labrador. It’s immensely difficult … Read more
Here’s Irene. She’s a bit of a cunt, is Irene. Her allotted, and happily embraced, duty in life is to sit at the end of the bar being this bit of a cunt. The ends of her mouth have never really been asked to curl upwards, so she’s stuck with a soggy bit of gob-flap … Read more