Month: January 2006

Hi, I'm Log

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Hi. I’m Log! I’ve been writing in this blog for about six months now, and I don’t feel like we know each other. Let me tell you about my day! The first thing I do, every morning, is fling my legs gaily from the bedclothes, tap my foot on the floor – rat-a-tat-tat – and … Read more

Writing For The Kiddlewinks

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Through some mix-up, I find myself briefly employed writing scripts for the adorable scamps. Children, as any advert for teaching will tell you, are honest, unprejudiced, and open-minded. When they’re not sitting on buckets and contemplating a day of well-meaning misadventure, they’re getting murdered in quarries by trusted grown-ups. I went to school as a … Read more

Covered In Piss : Six Stops On The Central Line

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Getting the last tube home is great. First, you have the sense of satisfaction of thinking “I stayed out the latest, I win at London”. Sure, you can stay out later, but night buses are like guessing too high on The Price Is Right. You were too excitable, you went too far, and you just … Read more

London Bar Review

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Stuck for somewhere to drink beer with your grandfather? Try these discrete venues – all bar-staff are trained not to stare in disbelief as you rest your balls in the ashtray. Golden Tudor Woof * * ** ** * An old-fashioned pub, which reflects the personality of its owner, a golden labrador. It’s immensely difficult … Read more

Irene And The Space Corps : The Birth of a Legend

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Here’s Irene. She’s a bit of a cunt, is Irene. Her allotted, and happily embraced, duty in life is to sit at the end of the bar being this bit of a cunt. The ends of her mouth have never really been asked to curl upwards, so she’s stuck with a soggy bit of gob-flap … Read more