Nottingham’s Premier Cha-Mobile Enthusiast Adam Mason was a child with a learning disability. He was taught that the world was a safe and indulgent place, by the girls who’d surround and protect him all playtime. He called himself Cha-Man, and not without reason: for the duration of his break periods, while I was doing handstands … Read more
Now I’ve established Francis Gilbert as the nation’s most despicable curmudgeonly bore, I’d like to show you the first two entries on his blog. This is the man who is attempting to found a doomsaying empire around the fact that he got hit on the head by some children once, when he was on the … Read more
A year ago, they said they were going to show the Law of the Playground on the television. I had my mum propped up on a broomhandle in front of the telly, with utterly clear instructions that she wasn’t to move a muscle. My cousin’s daughters had told people in school, basking in the tertiary … Read more
Unbelievably, some people have asked me what I’m talking about. What is IDST, they ask, before putting a slipper on their hands and saying “DID I DO RIGHT MNNNNGGGGG”. So, Lesson Zero : IDST stands for If Destroyed, Still True. You add it to a written insult to ensure that the person you are insulting … Read more
Video Week has been cut short! Why’s that? I’ll tell you for whys! I got really, really, distracted. A) I was chatting to loads of people on MSN Messenger and they were all like “come on join the party” and I came back with “you better get this party started cos I’m the kinda guy … Read more
If you’re here, chances are you’ll have been to the Law of the Playground, and you’ll obviously have bought the book. You’ll have marvelled at the highly-polished and consistently hilarious entries, and gone “awoo” at the adorably frank tales of mental and genital mutilation. I’ve let my backlog of submissions grow again – this is … Read more
Win yourself a shiny fucking medal!