THE CONVERSATION “Hello.” “Hi.” “This is my boyfriend.” “Your ex-boyfriend?” “No. My boyfriend.” “Oh. Hope you’re happy together!” When you find someone sexually attractive, it’s only right that you imagine having sex with them. You mentally undress them, you look at their trousers and imagine an eighteen thousand inch penis with a ghostly beckoning finger … Read more
There’s so many things I’m willing to do in the name of sex. That’s not to say I’m an innovator, far from it. I’m more of a “whatever you say” participant, who pulls away from a grubby clinch to frown at an imaginary audience. That audience knows what I’m going through, poking and nudging every … Read more
You’re at a party, and you’re introduced to a porn director. What, exactly, do you say?
Cartoon Is Fun. Born Loser Is Funnest!
What’s goes moo and quack and GET OFF MY TRACTOR and is inflatable?
Walking… one of the things that we have, as cool and scientific humans, eradicated. Why walk when we can drive, ski, and grab onto the legs of genetically supersized eagles? One of the internet’s foremost authorities on walking is Wendy Bumgardner, and that’s the fearsome truth, sister. Go on, google it. With Wendy Bumgardner at … Read more
Victoria Wood’s barnstorming encore song, The Ballad of Barry and Freda, introduced to the nation the erotic notion of spanking people on the bottom with a Woman’s Weekly. She started it, did Victoria. Likewise with Hostess Trolleys. The very idea of being bent backwards over a hostess trolley sent shivers of innovation through upper-working class … Read more
Another token first post on another attempt at a blog. Hello, world!