Thanks to Jammus for starting the excellent Near-Miss Heroes and Villains list over at Listopia, a list which reassured me that it doesn’t all have to be about famous people who sound like cheese. Also check out Can I Get A Widnes?, the latest list to be imported from Idiotica’s wealth of excellence.

Meanwhile, let’s celebrate the fact that I’m about to play Strongbad’s Cool Game for Attractive People with a cartoon I just made. I used the creator at Homestar Runner, so if you’ve got the tiniest inclination, make one yourself, send it to me, and I’ll include it here. Otherwise I’ll just do it myself, to create an aura of popularity.

Until then, prepare yourself to see how I’ve capitalised on the ambiguity of language for humourous effect, and put a bum on a man’s face!

I have watched this video about fifty times. I don’t know how to stop watching it. I think posting it here will probably help.

Fucking hell. I can’t wait to post this, so I can watch it again in my own website. It’ll be like I wrote it.

(Better quality sound on the version in my Muxtape)

Everyone loves a list. If a list could hit someone in the balls, they’d be the funniest thing in the world. If only someone would compile a “most traumatic nutsack impact videos” list, perhaps I could truly laugh again.

To that end, allow me to point you towards Listopia - a site that looks set to monopolise list related humour well into the next decade. I wrote it, which along with playing games for a bloody living and questioning my own audacity in writing opinion columns in The Guardian, explains a bit why I haven’t been updating the blog.

Listopia is slowly being populated with the pun-based lists of “Maxim’s Third Best Comedy Website of 2002″, Idiotica. But don’t go there - go to Listopia. It’s in a kind of beta, which means it’s buggy, probably prone to SQL injections, and the lists aren’t funny. But go there anyway! And if you think of any good ideas for lists, I promise not to nick them and make a comedy book that will sell in overwhelmingly moderate numbers.

Nutsack Impact is either a great Van Damme movie, or Yitzhak Smear’s less cervical brother. But… which?

If anyone here reads the Guardian, then hello! You’re probably aware of Charlie Brooker. And his column, Screen Burn. And how good it nearly always is.

So you’ll probably be fucking appalled to see this image, across which I have brushed the word “Wahey”.

It’s only for a week, but still, I’m pretty chuffed. I’ve spent so long writing about games now that it seems a little uncomfortable having opinions about anything else, at least without referring to games in some way.

“That homeopathy! It’s like… does anyone remember Robotron?”

“The US government should be nerfed in the next patch”

“Marcus Brigstocke’s Pac-Man joke”

So, if anyone who comes here could just nip to the comments section at The Guardian website and tell me how (or if) they’re reacting to it, I’m afraid I’ve bricked my knicks in a disappointingly comprehensive fashion.

Right, I’m off to St James’ Park to make a pyramid out of fat gay men.