Comments on: My Best Idea For A Film Ever Award 2006

By: HeWhoIsTooBored

HeWhoIsTooBored — Wed, 15 Feb 2006 12:49:03 +0000

If we’re talking about entertainment ideas, last night I had a dream that the producers decided to attract new audiences to the programme â€œLast of the Summer Wineâ€ by giving a robot companion to each of the old men.

There was a blue one who looked like one of the robots out of the recent Disney film who sat quietly in a pub with Peter Sallis, exchanging gentle banter, whereas the one who is the son of the dead Compo was torn apart by a malfunctioning battle droid.

With that kind of subconscious, I ought to be a commissioning editor at the BBC.

By: Speedwolf

Speedwolf — Fri, 10 Feb 2006 17:32:29 +0000

I was once accused of shitting in someone’s shoe at a party. I was caught hovering over it with my naked sphincter trying desperately to crimp off a foot of cable into his footwear at the time. On a garden bench.
It was purely circumstantial.

By: pantsofdeath

pantsofdeath — Fri, 10 Feb 2006 13:28:25 +0000

“She also claimed that I shat on the bathroom wall” - now THERE is an accusation to have levelled towards you!

I suspect a very limited H block style dirty protest.

By: Log

Log — Thu, 09 Feb 2006 11:47:54 +0000

I’d be an idiot not to be inspired by IOYC. It’s fucking brilliant.

By: big_al

big_al — Thu, 09 Feb 2006 09:25:14 +0000

If I had to be critical, I’d say this piece borrows largely from the unique style of IOYC. Subliminal influences at the very least. Minor outrage, anyone?

By: jonesy

jonesy — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 17:20:37 +0000

Uh oh. I think you’re right…
See you next Tuesday then.

By: Hicksion

Hicksion — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 16:05:25 +0000

I don’t know if it’s just my wacky string powered broadband connection fucking with me, but lifelong disappointment seems to have fallen over and vanished in a puff of smoke?

Did someone bum it into next Tuesday?

By: Log

Log — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 15:09:40 +0000

Two points go to Stussybear, who did indeed infuriate this mad cunt by vomiting in the toilet. She also claimed that I shat on the bathroom wall, which is something that I have never consciously done in my life, but there was something brown on the wall. Is it possible to accidentally shit on the wall at above anus height? It was a big lump, an’all.

By: smahman

smahman — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 10:23:45 +0000

So what happened in 2003 then, to fire up the Bruce-Tahoe engine of hatred?

By: jonesy

jonesy — Wed, 08 Feb 2006 10:22:06 +0000

StÃ¼ssybear, didn’t someone else - ahem - get shit up her wall? That’s the rumour I’ve heard anyway.

By: Jack P Toerson

Jack P Toerson — Tue, 07 Feb 2006 23:12:50 +0000

Sort of like Mute-Witness, but with courier-services.

By: stussybear

stussybear — Tue, 07 Feb 2006 21:15:24 +0000

I know who Sharon is. I think i sicked up on her toilet seat. She had horrible clicky devil’s hooves.

Am I right, Log?

By: jonesy

jonesy — Tue, 07 Feb 2006 19:24:07 +0000

Pooh sticks.

By: smahman

smahman — Tue, 07 Feb 2006 18:56:45 +0000

Dido is a cunt and must be punished. With sticks if neccessary.

By: jonesy

jonesy — Tue, 07 Feb 2006 18:54:40 +0000

To be honest, it’s all a bit of a cynical Oscar-chaser if you ask me. Precocious and/or troubled child, dead people, Charlize Theron with her roots showing in the role of the dead mum, tentative man love… And, obviously, Eminem and Dido reunited once more on a song on the soundtrack written from the point of view of a murderous child and rapped by Miss Florian Cloud De Doo Doo Doo Bournevita De Da Da Da Armstrong herself. Tsk. He’s got Carla Lane in to do a re-write on the dialogue. To make it sound more whiney and tedious and therefore appeal to beetroot-chomping thirty-something women with fringes.
Ken Russell directs!