Comments on: FW: Hilarious!!! Onestone!!! http://blog.disappointment.com/archives/92 If Only I Updated More Often, This Might Not Be Shit Thu, 16 Oct 2008 01:08:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Speedwolf http://blog.disappointment.com/archives/92#comment-488 Speedwolf Wed, 01 Feb 2006 10:19:39 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=92#comment-488 Once there was a great tower, coloured as the rose yet infinitely more beautiful. It reached for the heavens as a child reaches, in it's innocence, for the moon. No one person had ever lived in such opulance, seen the world to it's horizon in all directions or strived to live among the stars until that moment. One man owned all of this splendour and was the object of great jealousy by everyone who lived in the towers great shadow. That owner looked down upon the tiny dots on the ground and felt the superiority swelling in his breast. He knew that he would kill to keep his tower. For years the people around the base grew angrier and angrier and more and more jealous of the man in the high tower. Eventually, a voice, nobody is sure who, suggested that the tower must belong to them. It whipped up a storm, played upon the crowds darkest emotions and gathered a screaming army of men. They stormed the towers gates, swarming up the steps. They knew that they would kill to take the tower. They climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed. Then they climbed some more. Many days it took to reach the top and there they found a great golden door. One man stepped forward and banged upon it. "Open this door! We demand you share this beautiful tower! We are tired of living only in it's shadow, we demand that we share in the light also!" There was no answer. Banging once again he demanded "Open this door! We demand it!" There was a creak as the great portal opened. A great hammer cam smashing down upon the speakers head, spraying brain and bone into the crowd. They screamed as one and rushed forward. In a fight that lasted two months the hammer wielder rained down weighty steel death upon the unfortunate souls. Every last man was left dead, mangled into shapes before unseen and twisted into unnatural masses. The only man left standing was the owner of the tower caked in blood, holding his hammer aloft. Like a grinning demon, he had retained is tower, and won a great battle. He dropped dead, having forgotten to take his pills. <b>It's tough at the top</b> or <b>VI@GRA AND OTHER CHEAP MEDS.RX ARE ESSENTIAL IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR ERECTION</b> Once there was a great tower, coloured as the rose yet infinitely more beautiful. It reached for the heavens as a child reaches, in it’s innocence, for the moon.
No one person had ever lived in such opulance, seen the world to it’s horizon in all directions or strived to live among the stars until that moment.
One man owned all of this splendour and was the object of great jealousy by everyone who lived in the towers great shadow.
That owner looked down upon the tiny dots on the ground and felt the superiority swelling in his breast. He knew that he would kill to keep his tower.
For years the people around the base grew angrier and angrier and more and more jealous of the man in the high tower. Eventually, a voice, nobody is sure who, suggested that the tower must belong to them. It whipped up a storm, played upon the crowds darkest emotions and gathered a screaming army of men. They stormed the towers gates, swarming up the steps. They knew that they would kill to take the tower.
They climbed and climbed and climbed and climbed. Then they climbed some more. Many days it took to reach the top and there they found a great golden door.
One man stepped forward and banged upon it.
“Open this door! We demand you share this beautiful tower! We are tired of living only in it’s shadow, we demand that we share in the light also!”
There was no answer.
Banging once again he demanded “Open this door! We demand it!”
There was a creak as the great portal opened.
A great hammer cam smashing down upon the speakers head, spraying brain and bone into the crowd. They screamed as one and rushed forward. In a fight that lasted two months the hammer wielder rained down weighty steel death upon the unfortunate souls. Every last man was left dead, mangled into shapes before unseen and twisted into unnatural masses. The only man left standing was the owner of the tower caked in blood, holding his hammer aloft. Like a grinning demon, he had retained is tower, and won a great battle.
He dropped dead, having forgotten to take his pills.
It’s tough at the top
or
VI@GRA AND OTHER CHEAP MEDS.RX ARE ESSENTIAL IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR ERECTION

]]> By: TyrannosaurusFlex http://blog.disappointment.com/archives/92#comment-487 TyrannosaurusFlex Wed, 01 Feb 2006 09:59:58 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=92#comment-487 Michael was not a rich man. He lived alone in a shabby house with his mongrel Martine. One day Michael fell in love. Michael knew that he would never be able to impress his new-found love with wealth and so he decided to woo her with the one skill he did have - his delicious cooking. Michael took out his only tattered cookery book and decided to make the most extravagant dish he could find. He settled on a rack of lamb. He spent every last penny that he had on ingredients and enthusiastically set about cooking. However, he soon realized that he had forgotten to by HERBS and he hadn’t got a penny left. After a good half hour of racking his brain he suddenly came up with a solution to his problems. He whistled to Martine and she came trotting into the kitchen. He then took out 2 old bottles of WINE that he had been saving and proceeded to pour them all over his pet. He then placed the lamb on the floor and looked on happily as Martine shook herself dry spraying the wine over the meat. An hour in the oven and the lamb came out PERFECTLY. Michael’s date told him it was the best meal she had ever tasted and fell in love INSTANTLY. And the moral of the tale is…a bitch in wine saves thyme. Michael was not a rich man. He lived alone in a shabby house with his mongrel Martine. One day Michael fell in love. Michael knew that he would never be able to impress his new-found love with wealth and so he decided to woo her with the one skill he did have - his delicious cooking. Michael took out his only tattered cookery book and decided to make the most extravagant dish he could find. He settled on a rack of lamb. He spent every last penny that he had on ingredients and enthusiastically set about cooking. However, he soon realized that he had forgotten to by HERBS and he hadn’t got a penny left. After a good half hour of racking his brain he suddenly came up with a solution to his problems. He whistled to Martine and she came trotting into the kitchen. He then took out 2 old bottles of WINE that he had been saving and proceeded to pour them all over his pet. He then placed the lamb on the floor and looked on happily as Martine shook herself dry spraying the wine over the meat. An hour in the oven and the lamb came out PERFECTLY. Michael’s date told him it was the best meal she had ever tasted and fell in love INSTANTLY.

And the moral of the tale is…a bitch in wine saves thyme.

]]> By: Jack P Toerson http://blog.disappointment.com/archives/92#comment-486 Jack P Toerson Wed, 01 Feb 2006 02:34:57 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=92#comment-486 The town had a lucky bronze statue of a horse ridden by a general. In some parts of town people lived in filth, social deprivation, and rutted like pigs in SWILL, GIN and ANTI-DEPRESSANTS. One night, when fuck-faced on DIAMOND WHITE, GIN, and CRACK, someone chopped the statue's head-off with a sign they'd stolen from outside a Chinese takeaway. The next day, at a last minute news conference, hastily assembled journalists waited for the LOCAL COUNCILLORS to assemble for a speech. When everyone had settled down, and the speech began, some rake at the back of the room shouted “the general's a bit hoarse”, which caused no end of laughter! <b>There's humour at the worst of times.</b> The town had a lucky bronze statue of a horse ridden by a general. In some parts of town people lived in filth, social deprivation, and rutted like pigs in SWILL, GIN and ANTI-DEPRESSANTS. One night, when fuck-faced on DIAMOND WHITE, GIN, and CRACK, someone chopped the statue’s head-off with a sign they’d stolen from outside a Chinese takeaway. The next day, at a last minute news conference, hastily assembled journalists waited for the LOCAL COUNCILLORS to assemble for a speech. When everyone had settled down, and the speech began, some rake at the back of the room shouted “the general’s a bit hoarse”, which caused no end of laughter!
There’s humour at the worst of times.

]]>