Comments on: Whatever Next?!?! (add more punctuation later) http://blog.disappointment.com/archives/45 If Only I Updated More Often, This Might Not Be Shit Thu, 21 Aug 2008 03:07:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Another Little Disappointment » FW: Hilarious!!! Onestone!!! http://blog.disappointment.com/archives/45#comment-485 Another Little Disappointment » FW: Hilarious!!! Onestone!!! Wed, 01 Feb 2006 00:38:53 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=45#comment-485 [...] I just received the finest joke via email. It had the subject title “FW: Hilarious!!! Onestone!!!” Now, I’ve just this very second invented the Whatever Next? Model of Absurd Extrapolation, so I was amazed to suddenly find myself at the very forefront of a new model of joke distribution. [...] [...] I just received the finest joke via email. It had the subject title “FW: Hilarious!!! Onestone!!!” Now, I’ve just this very second invented the Whatever Next? Model of Absurd Extrapolation, so I was amazed to suddenly find myself at the very forefront of a new model of joke distribution. [...]

]]> By: HeWhoIsTooBored http://blog.disappointment.com/archives/45#comment-484 HeWhoIsTooBored Tue, 31 Jan 2006 14:56:32 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=45#comment-484 X: Man stops near school to ask passer-by for directions Y: Secretary of State for Education and all head-teachers are publicly raped, flayed and gibbeted for their disgusting failure to protect our children from these monsters, all schools are moved to secret locations probably made out of hollowed-out volcanoes to make sure paedophiles don't know where to find children, every M.P. in the House of Commons is required by his/her constituents to scream at a pitch and volume that makes the speaker's eardrums burst, while the new Education Secretary, the one that replaced the gibbeted one, jumps into the Thames to become a whale. All men are castrated. X: Man stops near school to ask passer-by for directions

Y: Secretary of State for Education and all head-teachers are publicly raped, flayed and gibbeted for their disgusting failure to protect our children from these monsters, all schools are moved to secret locations probably made out of hollowed-out volcanoes to make sure paedophiles don’t know where to find children, every M.P. in the House of Commons is required by his/her constituents to scream at a pitch and volume that makes the speaker’s eardrums burst, while the new Education Secretary, the one that replaced the gibbeted one, jumps into the Thames to become a whale. All men are castrated.

]]> By: Log http://blog.disappointment.com/archives/45#comment-483 Log Tue, 31 Jan 2006 14:32:18 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=45#comment-483 *Aghast applause* *Aghast applause*

]]> By: Hicksion http://blog.disappointment.com/archives/45#comment-482 Hicksion Tue, 31 Jan 2006 14:18:33 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=45#comment-482 Scene: Talent Agency Open day - Circa 1953 - Owner and impresario Fothering Menns flicks through the list of attendee details as he sits behind a huge oak desk. He selects one that catches his eye. Menns: Would 'Voltage Evelyn' come in please! Through the door enters a small, spry woman of 40, a huge glass bulb is sealed over her head, cables and wires spiral from her neck and into a cumbersome looking battery pack on her back. Her voice is faintly muffled by the glass bubble. Evelyn: Thank you Mr Menns. Menns: Okay, what is it you can do.. what would make you the Queen of Vaudeville? Evelyn: Well, I wear metal filament braces, and have match heads stuck between my teeth..and when I gnash.. Menns: Gnash? Evelyn: Yes, gnash.. my teeth together, it ignites the filament and the resulting combustion makes my head burst into the worlds biggest light bulb! Which is then maintained by the battery pack.. Menns: Intriguing.. show me.. Evelyn: Okay.. Evelyn clamps her teeth down furiously, chewing and grinding away on the match heads and filament, suddenly a burst of white heat and flame explodes within the glass bulb. The metal lodged in Evelyns face glows white and the pain and fury of the action makes her stumble from one corner of the office to the other. Shes screaming in agony, but her face is obscured by the blinding light. Eventually, she shudders, and drops to the floor.. her head and neck smouldering. Menns: I like it.. but change the name.. say, something like ' Watt Eva', next! Outside Mr Daniels the anal ventriloquist stands, straightens his tie, and prepares to enter the office. I am so very sorry.... Close but no Cigar http://cbnc.blogspot.com/ Scene: Talent Agency Open day - Circa 1953 - Owner and impresario Fothering Menns flicks through the list of attendee details as he sits behind a huge oak desk. He selects one that catches his eye.

Menns: Would ‘Voltage Evelyn’ come in please!

Through the door enters a small, spry woman of 40, a huge glass bulb is sealed over her head, cables and wires spiral from her neck and into a cumbersome looking battery pack on her back. Her voice is faintly muffled by the glass bubble.

Evelyn: Thank you Mr Menns.

Menns: Okay, what is it you can do.. what would make you the Queen of Vaudeville?

Evelyn: Well, I wear metal filament braces, and have match heads stuck between my teeth..and when I gnash..

Menns: Gnash?

Evelyn: Yes, gnash.. my teeth together, it ignites the filament and the resulting combustion makes my head burst into the worlds biggest light bulb! Which is then maintained by the battery pack..

Menns: Intriguing.. show me..

Evelyn: Okay..

Evelyn clamps her teeth down furiously, chewing and grinding away on the match heads and filament, suddenly a burst of white heat and flame explodes within the glass bulb. The metal lodged in Evelyns face glows white and the pain and fury of the action makes her stumble from one corner of the office to the other. Shes screaming in agony, but her face is obscured by the blinding light. Eventually, she shudders, and drops to the floor.. her head and neck smouldering.

Menns: I like it.. but change the name.. say, something like ‘ Watt Eva’, next!

Outside Mr Daniels the anal ventriloquist stands, straightens his tie, and prepares to enter the office.

I am so very sorry….

Close but no Cigar
http://cbnc.blogspot.com/

]]> By: jonesy http://blog.disappointment.com/archives/45#comment-481 jonesy Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:12:54 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=45#comment-481 X=Foreigner does something Y=Foreigner goes on tour. Really! Look! http://www.ticketmaster.com/artist/735109 WHATEVER NEXT? X=Foreigner does something
Y=Foreigner goes on tour.

Really! Look!
http://www.ticketmaster.com/artist/735109
WHATEVER NEXT?

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