1. Because he’s always about to “leaf” (doesn’t logically work)
2. He’s not, you just haven’t see him in’t “oolong” (reprehensible)
3. He’s not, he’s just tea-coloured and lives in a cup of tea, so it’s very difficult to see him (most likely)

i really don’t understand that site but i’ve bought everything advertised on it in the hope that it’ll become clear (unlike my tea) when my tea brewers arrive.

in other news - nowhere in leicester seems to sell pc zone. can you fix this for me please? thanks *huggles and buggles*

Gosh. After that outburst, I probably need a sit-down with a cup of tea.
Will I have to move to Ireland?

Two explanations spring to mind:

(1) It was his first website, and has now been superceded by his more recent adventures into the mysterious universe of web-presence. I don’t like this explanation. Examine the website. It looks clean and well-maintained. It advertises new album and DVD releases, and has upcoming tour dates mentioned. If this website is obsolete, it seems unlikely that he would update it so dilligently. The pictures would be faded and slightly musty-smelling, like his fanbase, rather than shiny and new. No, I do not feel this is the correct explanation

(2) He wishes to distinguish this site from the plethora of hackneyed and cliched Daniel O’Donnell sites that clutter up the internet like dull-eyed fish corpses floating on the surface of a slurry-polluted stream. This explanation has much to recommend it, and not just because it enabled me to use that fish analogy which has been drifting disconsolately through my mind for months now looking for an excuse to be employed. Obviously, on the surface, there is little that appears original about the site. None of the features appear particularly novel; a mail-order record shop, a charity appeal on behalf of some vampire children, a bio. But what arcane mysteries, what horrors beyond the ken of man lurk in the Premium Content Available Only To Registered Members? What gibbous monstrosities that caper and jig to the piping of a daemonic flute? What living darkness? What terror?

Look into the cold dead eyes that peer out from his photo. Think on all the world’s mysteries that thay have seen, and wonder, after all that he has done and witnessed in his time on this Earth, what in all God’s creation could a man like Daniel O’Donnell find original?