Comments on: Grunt, Laugh, Wank : The Work Toilets Trilogy Concludes http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/ I love you, let's do it Sat, 19 Nov 2011 17:13:43 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Jack P Toerson http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-478 Jack P Toerson Tue, 31 Jan 2006 09:04:22 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-478 Sorry Speedwolf. I was under the impression that last sentence of Log's post just before mine was about real-sex. Unless he's saying "how do you do" to his penis or was figuratively speaking. In which case I apologise. Kicking the covers off if you're hot is a very good thing BTW. Does wonders for fertility. Sorry Speedwolf. I was under the impression that last sentence of Log’s post just before mine was about real-sex. Unless he’s saying “how do you do” to his penis or was figuratively speaking. In which case I apologise. Kicking the covers off if you’re hot is a very good thing BTW. Does wonders for fertility.

]]> By: Speedwolf http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-477 Speedwolf Tue, 31 Jan 2006 08:40:32 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-477 Jack, your post confuses me. I'm as liberal as the next guy, as long as the next guy isn't Log, and I know all three positions <i>dans la chambre</i>. What on earth do you mean by 'use other bits of your body in the meantime' when you're recharging? Using your arms to reach for the remote? Using your legs to kick the covers off if you get too hot? Help me! Jack, your post confuses me. I’m as liberal as the next guy, as long as the next guy isn’t Log, and I know all three positions dans la chambre. What on earth do you mean by ‘use other bits of your body in the meantime’ when you’re recharging? Using your arms to reach for the remote? Using your legs to kick the covers off if you get too hot? Help me!

]]> By: Jack P Toerson http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-475 Jack P Toerson Mon, 30 Jan 2006 20:30:06 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-475 I think the three minute problem's solution is a matter of repetition. The recharge time is essential. I have had that problem myself a couple of times, when shit faced, but I recharge quickly, and have resorted to using other bits of my body in the meantime. It seems only fair, and I get to do it two or more times. So it could be argued that provided you recharge quickly, don't just fall asleep, and are creative enough, 3 minutes <i>could</i> be the way of the future. Although I'd need to survey female opinion. I think the three minute problem’s solution is a matter of repetition. The recharge time is essential. I have had that problem myself a couple of times, when shit faced, but I recharge quickly, and have resorted to using other bits of my body in the meantime. It seems only fair, and I get to do it two or more times. So it could be argued that provided you recharge quickly, don’t just fall asleep, and are creative enough, 3 minutes could be the way of the future. Although I’d need to survey female opinion.

]]> By: Log http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-473 Log Mon, 30 Jan 2006 17:57:13 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-473 Hmm. You're right, Jack. And I can't deny it - when I worked for Reed as a 22 year old trainee, I was young and vigorous enough to require daily relief. It would begin via a slow process of pushing my chair to and fro, rubbing my male penis into the bottom of the table. After around twelve seconds, this would create such urgency that I would make a hunched sprint for the single cubicle. The frenzied get-it-out approach to masturbation that I employed pretty much explains why I take about three seconds to get from "How do you do" to sorry mopping up. Hmm. You’re right, Jack. And I can’t deny it – when I worked for Reed as a 22 year old trainee, I was young and vigorous enough to require daily relief. It would begin via a slow process of pushing my chair to and fro, rubbing my male penis into the bottom of the table. After around twelve seconds, this would create such urgency that I would make a hunched sprint for the single cubicle. The frenzied get-it-out approach to masturbation that I employed pretty much explains why I take about three seconds to get from “How do you do” to sorry mopping up.

]]> By: Jack P Toerson http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-472 Jack P Toerson Mon, 30 Jan 2006 17:26:50 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-472 I don't understand what the problem is. Wanking is no dirtier or offensive than shitting, so the toilet would be a good place to do it. It's all about context; if we allow plop noises and loud farts, why not the noises of hand-relief? If he were rhythmically pounding his hand against his desk, while browsing porn with his free hand, it would be out of place. Which leads on to the interesting question of whether Wi-Fi has enabled people to masturbate with quality pornography while on the move; I can't imagine Mac users masturbating. PC users are inherently dirtier. It would be tricky in the average toilet cubicle because finding a stable place to put the laptop would be difficult. Taking a laptop to be repaired on the basis of dropping while wanking in work toilets is not dignified. Maybe use a digital camera to catch him in the act. You could blackmail him into running errands for you. I don’t understand what the problem is. Wanking is no dirtier or offensive than shitting, so the toilet would be a good place to do it. It’s all about context; if we allow plop noises and loud farts, why not the noises of hand-relief?

If he were rhythmically pounding his hand against his desk, while browsing porn with his free hand, it would be out of place.

Which leads on to the interesting question of whether Wi-Fi has enabled people to masturbate with quality pornography while on the move; I can’t imagine Mac users masturbating. PC users are inherently dirtier.

It would be tricky in the average toilet cubicle because finding a stable place to put the laptop would be difficult. Taking a laptop to be repaired on the basis of dropping while wanking in work toilets is not dignified.

Maybe use a digital camera to catch him in the act. You could blackmail him into running errands for you.

]]> By: HeWhoIsTooBored http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-471 HeWhoIsTooBored Mon, 30 Jan 2006 14:25:47 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-471 All is not lost! Now that you know who it is, you can make it your mission to ensure that you record him in flagrante manuale. As he is in the office opposite yours, you can observe him depart for the lavatory, and after a discreet interval, follow him silently as a ghost into the loo, fully armed with recording equipment. It can only be a matter of time before such a beast is compelled to return to his onanistic pleasures. Or would this transform a harmless amusement into a bizarre sexual obsession? In either event, I KNOW it's what I'd do. Am I a 'Carl'? All is not lost! Now that you know who it is, you can make it your mission to ensure that you record him in flagrante manuale. As he is in the office opposite yours, you can observe him depart for the lavatory, and after a discreet interval, follow him silently as a ghost into the loo, fully armed with recording equipment. It can only be a matter of time before such a beast is compelled to return to his onanistic pleasures. Or would this transform a harmless amusement into a bizarre sexual obsession? In either event, I KNOW it’s what I’d do. Am I a ‘Carl’?

]]> By: Speedwolf http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-468 Speedwolf Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:32:40 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-468 Perhaps they would jiggle their lovely 2 pixels puppie teatowel holders for the wanking black man. Ban this sick filth! Perhaps they would jiggle their lovely 2 pixels puppie teatowel holders for the wanking black man.
Ban this sick filth!

]]> By: trilobite http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-467 trilobite Sun, 29 Jan 2006 14:02:12 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-467 excellent use of onomatopeia, Log. you are to be commended. excellent use of onomatopeia, Log. you are to be commended.

]]> By: psyk0 http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-465 psyk0 Sat, 28 Jan 2006 15:59:52 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-465 A rapid insertion of Nintendogs into your DS would've allowed you to record the man's self-pleasuring on the White Record. However, I'm not entirely sure how the pups would react to such a curious melody. If you had enough time, you could probably train them to perform some cutesy trick on command when they hear the sound of fapping. "That's right, Fido... roll over... *fapfap*" A rapid insertion of Nintendogs into your DS would’ve allowed you to record the man’s self-pleasuring on the White Record. However, I’m not entirely sure how the pups would react to such a curious melody.

If you had enough time, you could probably train them to perform some cutesy trick on command when they hear the sound of fapping.

“That’s right, Fido… roll over… *fapfap*”

]]> By: GP http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-464 GP Sat, 28 Jan 2006 11:14:39 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-464 Nobuttocks has it spot on. Nobuttocks has it spot on.

]]> By: smahman http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-463 smahman Fri, 27 Jan 2006 15:57:09 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-463 He showed no sign of wankst at all, he must be a strong and determined fellow. I feel inspired and am off to the bogs now. He showed no sign of wankst at all, he must be a strong and determined fellow. I feel inspired and am off to the bogs now.

]]> By: Nobuttocks http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-462 Nobuttocks Fri, 27 Jan 2006 15:43:03 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-462 Put a sign in the toilet saying "no wanking - by ORDER". Put a sign in the toilet saying “no wanking – by ORDER”.

]]> By: pantsofdeath http://blog.disappointment.com/2006/01/27/grunt-laugh-wank-the-work-toilets-trilogy-concludes/#comment-461 pantsofdeath Fri, 27 Jan 2006 15:20:42 +0000 http://www.disappointment.com/wordpress/?p=91#comment-461 What a crazy fool - does he not know even the most basic rules of workplace toilet wankery? Gah! And "fap fap fap"? Pure and simple recklessness... I am very impressed that he managed to greet you with a cheery "Hi Jon" as he came out though: partial detumescence, delayed last drop leakage and post orgasmic paranoia make it very difficult to talk to anyone after a bogwank... er... I've heard. What a crazy fool – does he not know even the most basic rules of workplace toilet wankery? Gah! And “fap fap fap”? Pure and simple recklessness…

I am very impressed that he managed to greet you with a cheery “Hi Jon” as he came out though: partial detumescence, delayed last drop leakage and post orgasmic paranoia make it very difficult to talk to anyone after a bogwank… er… I’ve heard.

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