Comments on: Quick Brenda Update

By: Shanks

Shanks — Wed, 09 Nov 2005 14:55:52 +0000

Is there any chance you can make a plaster of paris death-mask of her face, without her noticing? You’d have to be quick, pretend to bump into her or something?

Think of the novelty jellies! You could eat her face. Imagine it. Go on.

By: Raz

Raz — Fri, 16 Sep 2005 12:19:43 +0000

Brenda looks like she could bite a man’s head clean off. I’d be servile if I were you.

By: soulless

soulless — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 15:38:59 +0000

Of course I care. I AM Brenda. I’m sitting here now, watching you. Watching, and waiting. Waiting, and planning…

By: Log

Log — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 15:16:13 +0000

Thank you for caring as much as I do. I have printed out five copies of that picture – when I find interesting ways to destroy her face, they’ll be here.

By: soulless

soulless — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 12:08:35 +0000

And then there’s the timeless gag where you tell her a really sad story about puppies being mangled that makes her cry, and then you hand her a tissue coated in fucking chilli powder.

By: soulless

soulless — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 12:05:39 +0000

Also fun is to superglue her phone handset to the base. Then dial her phone, and when she picks it up the base will come with it and smash into her useless face.

By: soulless

soulless — Mon, 12 Sep 2005 10:00:54 +0000

The trick with these people is to be kind. So, so kind. You hear all the details about their problem, and then more. More details. You even have a friend who knows about freezers and lives nearby. You’ll give him a call – he’ll pop round.

The aim of the game is to get the object so flustered as the tissue of lies is dissolved by the snot of illplanning that a blood vessel bursts in her brain and she is left with out the use of half her limbs.